Posted in 2017, Diary, facts, memories, thoughts, travel

Heart left & breath taken in Canada!


2017 is coming to an end, and I would love to take this chance and express my gratitude for this beautiful year as I embarked on journey I never thought I would do. I experienced both good and bad moments, however I am still thankful for those bad ones. It means I have lived, experienced and learned something, I have a story to tell.

This year I traveled to Canada with a friend, a traveler who had visited the country many times before. The best travel buddy I had so far!

For couple of weeks I lived in Canada as a local. We wandered around, we drank coffee all the time, we ate burgers, we went shopping together, we laughed a lot and we fell in love. Yes we did!

It didn’t happen in one night and it didn’t start from scratch. We both had crush on each other for a while but no one had the guts to open up about it for so many different reasons. We broke free of this fear, in Canada.

This country managed to stole my heart twice! I fell in love with it’s beauty and I fell in love with HIM! I became sure of that. Every walk and every talk was a confirmation that he is where I belong and that we both belong big time to this beautiful country. His soul is as pure and beautiful as this country’s nature. His heart and the touch of his hand is as warm as Canada’s summer.

We explored our interests and our backgrounds as we explored the country. We explored it together!

We walked under the rain, we hiked, we visited locals, we ate local food, we canoed, we sang, we stayed up late in nights, we looked each other in the eye and our souls met! the more we talk, walk and laugh, the more I got attached, falling in love knowing that this is the one, and knowing that it would kill me afterwards.

My breath was taken as I hiked those highlands and as I looked him in the eye. I left my heart there and I never really got it back and I don’t think I ever will.

We came back as happy as we can be, but we brought back confusion to our relationship. Undefined. Feelings were expressed, nothing was said for a while and love was lost. Heart still left with Him and in Canada, breath still taken.

I will be forever grateful to those places we visited together, to those stories and laughs shared. To the heart that came back to life and to the soul that met it’s mate.

The long walks, the talks, the late dinners and car/bus rides, the places only we know and the moments lived in those couple of weeks. My unforgettable fairy tale that I highly wish that its ending would change with a happy, cozy one where we have one picture together again saving a moment of warmth and love as those hundreds we took before.

To Canada: Thank you, I won’t ever forget how you were nice to me.

To HIM: here are the words that you never heard from me, maybe one day I get the chance to say it out loud, but for now I will leave them here: I LOVE YOU.


Posted in 2017, thoughts

Notes on hope!

Hope, Anne Frank, quote
Where there is hope, there is life!

This post today is a reminder to anyone (including me) who have lost hope that it takes time & patience for you to get what you want. That is simply the 2 factors of the hope equation..

For those who have lost hope to find their true love, or for those who have already found them and lost them for different reasons this story is for us to remember that there is still hope.

#The family friend:

Our friend H. years ago was engaged to the first girl he loved, their love didn’t make it to the alter because of some family issues so they broke up. He got married later had 3 kids and she did as well and had 2 girls, lived outside the country. Years later she got divorced, came back to the country to settle with her girls, and to our surprise he got divorced too! (Not because of her)

Their kids grew up and because they were living in the same neighbourhood they ran into each other and boom! Reunited.

Now they are married and their 5 kids are best friends. Everytime I see them I just can’t believe how the universe can work in mysterious ways to bring happiness to us if only we understand that it needs time & patience and also a belief that you’ll get the happiness that you deserve eventually.

I have recently lost the opportunity to be with the one I love, whom I think he was my true love. I keep reminding myself with story and many others that maybe the universe will work it out for me the same magical way it did with them.

There is this quote by Steve Jobs where he talked about how you can connect the dots backwards. So I believe we are on a path that is leading somewhere beautiful we might not be able to see it now but we’ll get the full picture when the time is right, we’ll look back with a smile of understanding how those loses, hardtimes & failures brought us to where we are now!

I am sending love and light to the one I love. And for whoever reads this I am sending love, light & hope your way may we all get what we want soon 🙂

Posted in facts, memories, quotes, thoughts

Action speaks louder than words.

Action speaks louder than words.

We might have came across this quote a lot; but we don’t usually think about it or even apply it in real life.

When you experience a situation in which you are facing any type of difficulty in your life; and all what you hear from people around is I wished to be there. I really wanted to, but i couldn’t. By this time you feel how powerful and meaningful is this quote.

People don’t want to hear that you wanted to be there for them. They need to feel your existence around.

Put yourself in people’s shoes; see how it feels when you are always hearing words that were never proven; see how it feels when someone keeps letting you down.

That cause bitterness. That my friends is a bond breaker. If you happen to have a bond of trust built between you and people around. The work you do is what keeps and strengthen it not only your words.

Kindly start taking this quote into consideration & see how it will affect your life & the one’s surrounding you as well. Leave a mark in people’s heart; let your actions speak for you; that’s how you will be remembered; not by the words you texted them.

Posted in Uncategorized

The right to live.

it’s a scar that will leave a mark forever;

we won’t ever get over it,

its a wound that will never be healed, not even by time.

Sickness is weakness.

you cannot control it.

you follow doctors rules; you take pills; you eat healthy food and no matter what yo do, all of a sudden you find yourself standing over there fighting for your right to live, trying to control something already out of control; you keep fighting to have one more breath, to take as much as you can from life,

The right to live.

sickness leaves you disabled.

it takes away your power.

it leaves you scared. living everyday with the fear of how soon will be the goodbye.

it leaves you with bad memories. it makes you feel pain; physically and mentally.


The right to live.

Sickness is the road to death.

Death is not OK.

it’s painful.

it’s betrayal.

it’s the only fact on earth.


Posted in Uncategorized


it doesn’t feel so good when you see the one you were supposed to be with is seeing someone else you feel a lil bit hurt / betrayed / jealous.

its not okay to feel that your place has been filled so easily & in a very short time.

it does really hurt.

even if you know that you are not going to be together again that doesn’t mean its okay to see someone else taking your space in his life instantly.

at least respect what we had, for old times sake you could have waited a lil bit.

Posted in Uncategorized

why can’t we be forever young ?!

I don’t wanna leave them..

why is it impossible to pause ..

let time stops here where we are all together happy still looking good with our pure warm hearts..

when changes take place coldness fill hearts; distances get longer ..

what was there will never be here again no matter what ..

why can’t everyone just keep their roles ?!.. they are still going to be on the top, taking care of everything ..still taking care of us; and our roles will remain always their cute lil children who love them and always willing to be under their feet to do anything for them..

and it won’t be enough compared to all the sacrifices they did;

I just can’t picture them in any state but strong as they’ve always been.

There has to be a way to stop time .. to stop everything from moving on.. why can’t everything just standstill ?

why can’t we be forever young ?!

we will grow old and they will too. our roles will grow ..

changes will take place in our lives and what we have right now “our present” will become our future’s past .. our now will become a memory a very beautiful one ..

let us just hope this “present” will last longer than we could even expect.

#She 4

he keep talking and he opens conversations, she replies

but she never starts

she don’t know what or how the next step will be .. she is not the controller this time

he is; and he is pulling her towards him .. she never thought its even possible but she is letting herself to do so, limits & boundaries are still there but at least what she thought was unbreakable apparently it is..

she always refused to think about it, now she is involved in this mess; she is attracted by a strange force which she is trying to understand but didn’t get it yet

what happened ? what changed her mind ? why she is still responding to his conversations ? why hasn’t she kicked him out as the previous ones ? and at the same time she is still not falling for him , she is not overwhelmed by his charm yet..

no doubt he has a strong character an influential one, they have a lot in common

she will know he is the one when she find herself easily going with him, not over thinking about her reactions, not obliged to think before she talks to him

when she find herself away of anxiety ,being nervous and she feels totally comfortable with him and when she feel that relief after talking to him,

when she find herself talking about her stuff and he is listening carefully;

when she talks about things from deep inside her hearts, things that were never revealed before him

when she feels that he is good enough to trust him

when she knows and he assures her that he cares , really cares not only words

when she feels that he thinks about her every single moment in his life

when he keep thinking about her and how is she and what she is doing when she is not there with him, when he keep asking about her

when he is courage enough and he forget about any boundaries and let her know that he cares and he won’t give up on her easily ,

when he is supportive enough

,, only then she will now he might be the one

but before that happens she won’t be able to understand what he is to her and she won’t be able to take any decisions regarding this whole thing.

Posted in Uncategorized

#She 2

she is in a stage where u can call it upgrading/ evolution or any word that carries the same meaning

she is learning and she is changing 

she is learning how to deal with new situations with diff. people

she is learning to accept changes rapidly

she is learning how adapt with them

she has a lot to take at one time;

she is trying to slow down to understand

she is slowing down because she is new to everything in her life

whole new situations which she never experienced before

she is slowing down because she is afraid  to lose what she gained 

all what she need is to have time to re-set her rules

re-set her mood; her routine

she need to evaluate the last couple of months in her life

she knows writing would help

and thats what she started doing

she agreed with herself on slowing down just to have time to do the right action at the right time

she don’t want to mess up again

she reached a point where she got all what she asked for kind of stability but she is still working hard and praying for this stage to stay as long as it can be

the only thing she is aiming for now is to win the challenge that she accepted months ago

she said she can & she will do whatever she wants but she sometimes realize how big & hard the situation is

she is in really huge challenge and thats why she is always afraid to lose or to do it wrong

her biggest fear is to give up; she is not a quitter and she totally refuses to be a one 

weak and not able to complete what she started before

she think of every step before implementing it bec. of the fear of not being able to finish what she begun ..


Posted in Uncategorized

#She 1

she is too weak to resist your effect.

She was just shaking hands and when you pulled her close, hold her hand strong between yours, She realized how weak she is

when you pulled her close to you and your face was in front of hers, your eyes were looking right into hers, She knew she won’t be able to look into your eyes

she didn’t, she was too confused and somehow irritated because you made it clear how weak she is when you did this, She is not used to face this truth.

when you pulled her close, and you were talking to her general, random talk, she was doing everything possible to get out of this situation,

even the way she kept thinking  days ago of how she will present to you what she wanted  to say, it all disappeared and evaporated when you took your surprising move,

She was running away,

You confused her.

She know there is nothing from you or nothing will be between you and her, but although she know that; she was hoping of a longer time of this weird holding thing;

you showed her the point of weaknesses,

she always said that even if she faced a similar situation it would be nothing because she know how to deal and handle it

but you showed her she can’t

she need to know how to resist

the facts concluded from this situation is that she is weak, she need to learn how not to be , she felt good when you did so but at the same time she was lost.