Posted in facts, memories, quotes, thoughts

Action speaks louder than words.

Action speaks louder than words.

We might have came across this quote a lot; but we don’t usually think about it or even apply it in real life.

When you experience a situation in which you are facing any type of difficulty in your life; and all what you hear from people around is I wished to be there. I really wanted to, but i couldn’t. By this time you feel how powerful and meaningful is this quote.

People don’t want to hear that you wanted to be there for them. They need to feel your existence around.

Put yourself in people’s shoes; see how it feels when you are always hearing words that were never proven; see how it feels when someone keeps letting you down.

That cause bitterness. That my friends is a bond breaker. If you happen to have a bond of trust built between you and people around. The work you do is what keeps and strengthen it not only your words.

Kindly start taking this quote into consideration & see how it will affect your life & the one’s surrounding you as well. Leave a mark in people’s heart; let your actions speak for you; that’s how you will be remembered; not by the words you texted them.

Posted in Uncategorized

#She 3

the conversation was going easily & they were talking in a certain topic when all of a sudden he interrupted the conversation by mentioning how beautiful she is ,,

miraculously she didn’t realize it until later; she was concentrating in the subject that she didn’t even read his words ..

that was good for her; she don’t want to fall under his spell, if she has read his words on time she would have been confused and wouldn’t know what to do ,,which will eventually be a mess

she was confused after she realized he said so; but she felt good he said that and it came out of nowhere; it wasn’t expected .. she never expects he would write that for her .

Posted in 2013, Diary, memories

the moment i knew you left

Well 1st of all let me start by a wish : I do really wish from deep inside my heart that no one loses someone close to them.

Years ago I lost the dearest person in my life .. my grandma

As my mom was the youngest of her brothers & sisters, she was the closest to grandma’s heart & so did we (my brother & I), she was ready to do anything for us, she always wanted us to be the best in everything,

her place was the only place where i felt safe, even more than our own home, i remember when i was young i didn’t knew what is a “storm” all i knew was when the weather is bad & wind blowing then its time to go to stay at her place, where we always felt & knew what warmness is..

one of the happiest moments of my life was when she decides to have a sleep over with us,i still feel how was the excitement for the preparations before she arrives. my brother & i used to fight about who’s room she will stay in,

everything was too good when you were here

winter was perfect when you were here

weekends was different, you used to have all the family -sons, daughters, grand children- at your home every week,

i was strong when you were there, i always knew you got my back.

still remember the moment i knew you left, the day before i cried like i never did before & i don’t even remember why, i woke up, went to school, in the middle of the day a teacher came told me my dad was here so be ready to go now,i didn’t know why but knew there’s sth wrong, dad is here , mom not , he brought my brother too & we’re not driving back home, we are going to yours, we arrived, dad left, no one was there except the housekeeper so she told me “your grandma had a sudden heart attack and she is hospital now” i was too shocked that i didn’t even get mad at her, after a while, was calling dad & his voice is not OK,

– “dad, what’s wrong? ”

– “nothing”

– *yelling* “dad, i said what’s wrong?”

– “your grandma has died”

i said nothing & ended the call instantly

after few hours, her house started to be crowded, all family members are here, all in black, all crying, too many sad faces, – all this time i haven’t seen/talked to my mom, later when she arrived at grandma’s house i was avoiding seeing her, i knew she’d be devastated, when finally decided to go n see her, she was sitting on a bed carrying grandma’s clothes and crying hysterically calling her name, i took her between my arms and we both cried.

the whole family stayed their all night, me and dad went home to change and to be ready for the funeral at the early morning, on our way home i insisted to listen the whole story, with non-stop crying i couldn’t sleep, woke up early , wear all black for the 1st time, went to her home & for the 1st time she wasn’t there sitting on her chair smiling as usual, people were in hurry, being ready to go and have the final look on her, the whole death thing was new for me , so i was shocked, nervous, weak , feeling bitterness, & not crying too much, not believing any of what’s happening, we walked into the hospital, entered a room where she was there all covered in white, i couldn’t get any closer to her, stood at a distance where i can see her while prayers are being said, haven’t kissed her, couldn’t, i just couldn’t it was too hard for me & i regret it btw.

i went out the room, we walked in the funeral, thankfully i didn’t saw her going down, but stood there witnessing every single face with a tearful eye, my mom was sitting on a chair, she wasn’t able to move, crying n crying and i was speechless,

back to her home, too many people was there offering their condolences, all what i remember then was sawing her (grandma) coming out of the bathroom, n i heard her voice calling mom with the nickname she always used to call her by, it was like she was refusing to leave us, i know you were here, but the fact that i won’t be able to see/talk to you again is killing me, 8 years since you left & i still smell you whenever i walk into your house, 8 years and i still refuse to believe that you are gone, i refuse to believe that you will not be able to be with me in my special moments,

well grandma your grand daughter is about to graduate from college, i know you’d be happy and flying over the moon in such moment & i would have been so much happier if you were here, but i know you are already here somehow, so thank you for the most beautiful 15 years i have had with you, thank you for everything, you will always be in my heart, your story will be told and it will live forever.

sleep well grandma  ;*

Posted in thoughts

Thoughts #4

one of the unpublished notes :

-its easier to criticize from your place when u r not in the middle of the situation .. we used to say ” he/she should have done this like that .. or see what they have done .. see what she’s wearing , see their attitude .. bla bla bla ,

we are not judges , we are not supposed to criticize here , we don’t know the details of every situation or problem or the whole story behind a certain attitude ,, i think we should keep our mouth shut , and keep our thoughts to ourselves

actually am not trying to be the perfect girl here , but i have witnessed a situation were i felt we are all guilty for what we sometimes – unintentionally – do .

last couple of months my mom went for the usual parents meeting at my brother’s high school ,as usual teachers were saying their mission , goals and giving final reports about the students ,

mom told me : a very classy woman stood up and asked the teachers about her son’s grades , the teachers starts saying he is a disaster he never attends a class , he always gets low scores and so on , while she started crying ,, her son was one of my brother’s friend , later after the meeting my bro. knew that his friend T. is trapped in a very hard situation his mom had cancer and she was struggling for years and they knew she only have 2 months left ,

no one knew or even tried to know the story behind the failure of T. , the reason he was acting like this , being weird , rude , nobody tried to ask and help , they were all being judgmental , giving orders , nothing more .

T’s mother died weeks ago , and after her death the boy was under the shock , he told his friends later that he was trying to stay at home before his mom’s death just to be able to have enough time with her before she leaves them , how hard it is to be living a fact like this ,life is counting down days you’ll spend with the closest person to you , just imagine T. not just having a miserable life inside the house but outside too when people treat him in a bad way because they thought he was a loser & he will never change no one bothered offering a help, no one asked if they can do something for him , only some of his friends and my bro. of course stood with him , i feel sorry for the boy , he is too young to live such life lose his mother this way , seeing her everyday in front of him and he knew from inside that this day may be her last ,

anyway my point is we don’t have to be judgmental , we don’t have the right to talk about people’s attitude , clothing , behavior , we don’t know the reason why can anybody wear a unmatched colors for example , may be its the only thing that they have , it might be their taste too , right ? we are not all the same and that’s good actually , if we were all the same it would be boring ha ?

Posted in 2012

“Facebook,Twitter mania” ??! a 30 day challenge to have a real life .

We are living in the 21’s century, which means we are surrounded by technology everywhere;

technology makes life easier, not only easier but faster; it speed things up. to the extent that sometimes you can’t catch your breath.

What is the easiest and fastest to get an information/update ?! Surf the internet.

When it comes to communication; we cannot ignore social network’s role, keeping in touch with friends/family..etc. and one main role is that it kills time; when you are bored having nothing to do; nothing is better in killing time than logging in to any social network. that’s a bonus but it’s not when it’s about to kill your real life.

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Using social networks have turned our life into an E-life , instead of calling a friend or a family member you just leave comment on their Facebook/Twitter, Does that count as communicating ?!

Instead of spending time with your family or hanging out with friends , or attending any symposium. We are just turning our backs to real life and convince ourselves with Fake world. we are missing great opportunities and we are not even realizing this because we are too busy Socializing online.

As for me; Am a person who is using social network 24/7, am getting used to posting daily updates; I reached a point where am updating my twitter every single minute, yes am enjoying my time, having fun,discussing various topics& having the chance of meeting new people; creating new friendships.

I love how you can discuss whatever you want and you’ll meet people out there sharing the same thoughts; it will allow you to be introduced in  a whole different world than the one you are living in.


– How much time do you spend online ?!

– A lot ?

– then how about your real life ?

– Do you hangout with friends?/ -Do you pay your relatives a visit every now and then ?

– When was the last time you got in touch with an old friend by telephone ?

Your answer to these questions will explain a lot…

 Do you think if people continued on this rate there will be calls/visits anymore ?

Why don’t you just ask elders how happy they were back in time, how beautiful it was to have a picnic, to travel , to sth crazy..

Why don’t we control our time and create a space that we can use it in volunteering? just an hour or two will make a difference in others life and in yours too.

We opened a discussion days ago,a friend was mentioning how important is the applications in her life: Facebook , twitter , whats app , bbm service !!!! she said exactly : “i almost forgot so many voices of people in my life, i rarely get in touch by any means but chatting online. ” she was glad to say so, as long as it’s easier and faster so why bother doing it differently ?.

When i told her about my challenge i was getting a reaction of ” are you crazy? “; you won’t be able to live like that for more than 24 hours.

I’m happy to get involved in this challenge, and let it grab change into my life.

The challenge : stop using Social network (Facebook/Twitter) for 30 days.

 ACTION : accounts deactivated.

Target : take the effect of social network out of my mind and find useful replacements; writing / reading ..etc.

I am sure that i will find things worth doing than just refreshing Facebook or twitter every second.

it will be a tough challenge, but it will make a difference in my life ,Count down is set already.

wait more updates 😉

Posted in Uncategorized

Life Bonds !!!!

I am so amazed how we thought that life bonds are unbreakable , we thought as we grow older these bonds are getting stronger , but recently i have realized that we were lied to .. these bonds were so easily broken ….

those life bonds include the family one , yes it’s breakable too ! have just experienced that .

its so depressing how u were talking so proudly about how happy are you with your family and then everything change and now you are avoiding to talk about them .

having fights , problems and arguments continuously for more than a year is a very hard thing and it changes a lot specially when these problems weren’t solved from the first time so every time you have a problem or u r having an argument with someone things got more complicated as they are accumulated over each other every time they are not discussed or solved . and then one moment u feel like there will be an explosion ..

and i think that’s what had happened these days with me and my family , we are having lately about 3 or 4 fights per week and then someone decides to solve the situation with just a simple smile and then you forget everything for a while then something happens again and you feel like u are gonna start all over again .

we have reached a very bad point,  it’s been very long time since i have talked to my parents and every time we start a new fight the duration becomes longer and longer .

but this time is so different it feels like someone has broken your heart and left you without even bothering to look back !

i feel so down , sad and shocked because even if we are having a fight they should have asked what i am going to do as i am about to take a very important decision in my life , but nobody cared ! the thing is i am so depressed and so confused , its these times that you need very badly someone you can trust to talk with .. but they are not here standing by me , they left me all alone in this !!!  but this time i am having no regrets and having no intention to apologize or to fix things up , no intention to do anything about it . i am tired and it has become so humiliating and no matter what i will be strong and i will let nothing to break me down .

first time to know how does it means to feel sadness in your heart , it hurts to know that things will not be the same ever again after what had happened .

it seems that living in your fantasy world is so much better than facing reality :S