Posted in 2017, Diary, facts, memories, thoughts, travel

Heart left & breath taken in Canada!


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2017 is coming to an end, and I would love to take this chance and express my gratitude for this beautiful year as I embarked on journey I never thought I would do. I experienced both good and bad moments, however I am still thankful for those bad ones. It means I have lived, experienced and learned something, I have a story to tell.

This year I traveled to Canada with a friend, a traveler who had visited the country many times before. The best travel buddy I had so far!

For couple of weeks I lived in Canada as a local. We wandered around, we drank coffee all the time, we ate burgers, we went shopping together, we laughed a lot and we fell in love. Yes we did!

It didn’t happen in one night and it didn’t start from scratch. We both had crush on each other for a while but no one had the guts to open up about it for so many different reasons. We broke free of this fear, in Canada.

This country managed to stole my heart twice! I fell in love with it’s beauty and I fell in love with HIM! I became sure of that. Every walk and every talk was a confirmation that he is where I belong and that we both belong big time to this beautiful country. His soul is as pure and beautiful as this country’s nature. His heart and the touch of his hand is as warm as Canada’s summer.

We explored our interests and our backgrounds as we explored the country. We explored it together!

We walked under the rain, we hiked, we visited locals, we ate local food, we canoed, we sang, we stayed up late in nights, we looked each other in the eye and our souls met! the more we talk, walk and laugh, the more I got attached, falling in love knowing that this is the one, and knowing that it would kill me afterwards.

My breath was taken as I hiked those highlands and as I looked him in the eye. I left my heart there and I never really got it back and I don’t think I ever will.

We came back as happy as we can be, but we brought back confusion to our relationship. Undefined. Feelings were expressed, nothing was said for a while and love was lost. Heart still left with Him and in Canada, breath still taken.

I will be forever grateful to those places we visited together, to those stories and laughs shared. To the heart that came back to life and to the soul that met it’s mate.

The long walks, the talks, the late dinners and car/bus rides, the places only we know and the moments lived in those couple of weeks. My unforgettable fairy tale that I highly wish that its ending would change with a happy, cozy one where we have one picture together again saving a moment of warmth and love as those hundreds we took before.

To Canada: Thank you, I won’t ever forget how you were nice to me.

To HIM: here are the words that you never heard from me, maybe one day I get the chance to say it out loud, but for now I will leave them here: I LOVE YOU.

 

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why can’t we be forever young ?!


I don’t wanna leave them..

why is it impossible to pause ..

let time stops here where we are all together happy still looking good with our pure warm hearts..

when changes take place coldness fill hearts; distances get longer ..

what was there will never be here again no matter what ..

why can’t everyone just keep their roles ?!.. they are still going to be on the top, taking care of everything ..still taking care of us; and our roles will remain always their cute lil children who love them and always willing to be under their feet to do anything for them..

and it won’t be enough compared to all the sacrifices they did;

I just can’t picture them in any state but strong as they’ve always been.

There has to be a way to stop time .. to stop everything from moving on.. why can’t everything just standstill ?

why can’t we be forever young ?!

we will grow old and they will too. our roles will grow ..

changes will take place in our lives and what we have right now “our present” will become our future’s past .. our now will become a memory a very beautiful one ..

let us just hope this “present” will last longer than we could even expect.

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#She 2


she is in a stage where u can call it upgrading/ evolution or any word that carries the same meaning

she is learning and she is changing 

she is learning how to deal with new situations with diff. people

she is learning to accept changes rapidly

she is learning how adapt with them

she has a lot to take at one time;

she is trying to slow down to understand

she is slowing down because she is new to everything in her life

whole new situations which she never experienced before

she is slowing down because she is afraid  to lose what she gained 

all what she need is to have time to re-set her rules

re-set her mood; her routine

she need to evaluate the last couple of months in her life

she knows writing would help

and thats what she started doing

she agreed with herself on slowing down just to have time to do the right action at the right time

she don’t want to mess up again

she reached a point where she got all what she asked for kind of stability but she is still working hard and praying for this stage to stay as long as it can be

the only thing she is aiming for now is to win the challenge that she accepted months ago

she said she can & she will do whatever she wants but she sometimes realize how big & hard the situation is

she is in really huge challenge and thats why she is always afraid to lose or to do it wrong

her biggest fear is to give up; she is not a quitter and she totally refuses to be a one 

weak and not able to complete what she started before

she think of every step before implementing it bec. of the fear of not being able to finish what she begun ..