Posted in 2018, Diary, poetry, thoughts

Perfectionists are not Allowed! #UnfinishedWork


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Somewhere only we know </3

They taught me how to say ” Astaghferu Allah”. They say it helps in the healing process.

So I remembered their words!

“Astaghferu Allah”

I get busy and bury myself in endless tasks at work.

I read your name on my mobile. I get stuck.

Eyes fixed on the screen, mind reliving our moments together.

“Astaghferu Allah”, I say.

“Focus. You have work to do, deadlines to meet. Focus.” – said the distracted mind.

I saw you. I saw you putting your arms around her as you walked down the hall.

It makes sense! She is now closer to you than I used to do. The sight of you two puts extra weight on my heart, but I push a smile anyway.

That is what they taught me. Fake it until you make it. So I try.

A sigh.

“Astaghferu Allah”

I am on my way home, I pass by your house. Your perfume “my favorite” is in the air.

Heart pounding. Heartbeats racing. Tears pouring.

I catch myself crying. Stop! Remember the smile. So I smile.

“Astaghferu Allah”

I walk. Faster steps, unsteady but fast.

I leave with no look backs for today!

I repeat “Astaghferu Allah”. They said it is a pain killer, so I overdosed it.

 

— Astaghferu Allah: is a religious saying in Islam that means Ask for God’s forgiveness, help, and support. A mean of worship that is always thought to be good to start your prayers with. —

 

DISCLAIMER: This is not the final version. It is subjected to edits that should be applied soon.

Would love to hear feedback thou! Thanks xoxo

 

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Posted in 2017, thoughts

Notes on hope!


Hope, Anne Frank, quote
Where there is hope, there is life!

This post today is a reminder to anyone (including me) who have lost hope that it takes time & patience for you to get what you want. That is simply the 2 factors of the hope equation..

For those who have lost hope to find their true love, or for those who have already found them and lost them for different reasons this story is for us to remember that there is still hope.

#The family friend:

Our friend H. years ago was engaged to the first girl he loved, their love didn’t make it to the alter because of some family issues so they broke up. He got married later had 3 kids and she did as well and had 2 girls, lived outside the country. Years later she got divorced, came back to the country to settle with her girls, and to our surprise he got divorced too! (Not because of her)

Their kids grew up and because they were living in the same neighbourhood they ran into each other and boom! Reunited.

Now they are married and their 5 kids are best friends. Everytime I see them I just can’t believe how the universe can work in mysterious ways to bring happiness to us if only we understand that it needs time & patience and also a belief that you’ll get the happiness that you deserve eventually.

I have recently lost the opportunity to be with the one I love, whom I think he was my true love. I keep reminding myself with story and many others that maybe the universe will work it out for me the same magical way it did with them.

There is this quote by Steve Jobs where he talked about how you can connect the dots backwards. So I believe we are on a path that is leading somewhere beautiful we might not be able to see it now but we’ll get the full picture when the time is right, we’ll look back with a smile of understanding how those loses, hardtimes & failures brought us to where we are now!

I am sending love and light to the one I love. And for whoever reads this I am sending love, light & hope your way may we all get what we want soon 🙂

Posted in 2013, Diary, thoughts

People in phases


Well from the very little experience I had in this life I could summarize people and their attitudes in life into 3 categories/phases.

Phase ǀ : denial

Phase ǁ : adaptation

Phase ǀǀǀ : leading

Those who live in the denial phase still do not want to believe that change had happened, they don’t accept the fact that their “usual” has become “exceptional” ; their surroundings has changed, their balance has been disturbed; whether because of some of their friends/family/relatives/..etc has left/moved/changed to the worse or because of their inability to adapt with the new ”technological” world, they might be denying the fact that relations mostly nowadays depend on interests/benefits only; and mainly people in this phase refuse to get away from customs and traditions they are strict to their rules.

On the other hand, people in second one the adaptation phase might have a slight difference from the denial one; as they had fought, tried & their experience led to their capability, willingness to adapt & change, they have learned the lesson, they can deal with technology, understood that people may know you just for their benefits but you gotta keep them around, learned to step forward; to throw everything behind their back unlike those in the 1st phase they are stuck in the past.

The last phase “the leading phase”; in a proper order it is the first, they are the change makers, they are on the top of the pyramid and the rest are followers; whether they are the ones who created technology or the first to use it, they aren’t scared to try, able to change for better or for worse just to reach their destiny/position, they are motivators for some followers mainly for those in the second phase; but sometimes they are the monster/nightmares for those in phase 1 as they consider them the ones who created the change, the ones who turned life upside down; they invaded the world with new thoughts/rules/traditions they are not willing to be controlled over by some stupid old rules from the past, they create their own world and followers keep trying to have the same

I believe there is another kind don’t belong to any of those which is the mix between the 3 , they are stuck in the past, willing to change and creating their own unique world but they are not followers; I think I belong to this type

Where do you belong ??

Posted in 2012

“Facebook,Twitter mania” ??! a 30 day challenge to have a real life .


We are living in the 21’s century, which means we are surrounded by technology everywhere;

technology makes life easier, not only easier but faster; it speed things up. to the extent that sometimes you can’t catch your breath.

What is the easiest and fastest to get an information/update ?! Surf the internet.

When it comes to communication; we cannot ignore social network’s role, keeping in touch with friends/family..etc. and one main role is that it kills time; when you are bored having nothing to do; nothing is better in killing time than logging in to any social network. that’s a bonus but it’s not when it’s about to kill your real life.

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Using social networks have turned our life into an E-life , instead of calling a friend or a family member you just leave comment on their Facebook/Twitter, Does that count as communicating ?!

Instead of spending time with your family or hanging out with friends , or attending any symposium. We are just turning our backs to real life and convince ourselves with Fake world. we are missing great opportunities and we are not even realizing this because we are too busy Socializing online.

As for me; Am a person who is using social network 24/7, am getting used to posting daily updates; I reached a point where am updating my twitter every single minute, yes am enjoying my time, having fun,discussing various topics& having the chance of meeting new people; creating new friendships.

I love how you can discuss whatever you want and you’ll meet people out there sharing the same thoughts; it will allow you to be introduced in  a whole different world than the one you are living in.

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– How much time do you spend online ?!

– A lot ?

– then how about your real life ?

– Do you hangout with friends?/ -Do you pay your relatives a visit every now and then ?

– When was the last time you got in touch with an old friend by telephone ?

Your answer to these questions will explain a lot…

 Do you think if people continued on this rate there will be calls/visits anymore ?

Why don’t you just ask elders how happy they were back in time, how beautiful it was to have a picnic, to travel , to sth crazy..

Why don’t we control our time and create a space that we can use it in volunteering? just an hour or two will make a difference in others life and in yours too.

We opened a discussion days ago,a friend was mentioning how important is the applications in her life: Facebook , twitter , whats app , bbm service !!!! she said exactly : “i almost forgot so many voices of people in my life, i rarely get in touch by any means but chatting online. ” she was glad to say so, as long as it’s easier and faster so why bother doing it differently ?.

When i told her about my challenge i was getting a reaction of ” are you crazy? “; you won’t be able to live like that for more than 24 hours.

I’m happy to get involved in this challenge, and let it grab change into my life.

The challenge : stop using Social network (Facebook/Twitter) for 30 days.

 ACTION : accounts deactivated.

Target : take the effect of social network out of my mind and find useful replacements; writing / reading ..etc.

I am sure that i will find things worth doing than just refreshing Facebook or twitter every second.

it will be a tough challenge, but it will make a difference in my life ,Count down is set already.

wait more updates 😉

Posted in 2012, thoughts

The orientation day : 3/december/2012 , feeling the joy of success .”The special 2012″


This will be another story added to what makes 2012 so special for me.

the story begins at the end of November 2010 , when i joined an international organization found in many countries and universities including mine , 

Long story short : i’ve decided to join it so i applied , had an interview and i was accepted , joined one of it’s committees and worked for- i think- 2 or 3 months ; then i left for some reasons .

but at November 2011 i realized how stupid i was , i never regret anything in my life but leaving this organization was the first time to regret a decision i made .

 when i re-joined i decided to work hard to prove myself again , and here we are in 2012 a year passed and i am still in this org. and the most important thing was what happened yesterday ,,

we have been working for almost 2 months recruiting , to give a chance to new members to join our team and share our success with them , so we had worked on a daily basis to let everyone one knows who we are and what we do , what we have accomplished ,

fortunately everything was perfect of course we faced a lot of problems but at the end we had a tour in all the faculties and we let everybody know about us ,

we interviewed the applicants and accepted some of them so we had to take the following step which was the ORIENTATION , we had to explain in it everything in details , projects , committees , our mission for this year ..etc

so at 11 am yesterday me and my colleagues gathered together to start to decorate the theater and to make the rehearsals we were divided into teams i was in a two teams one of them was the organizers ..

when you are put in charge to make sure that everything is perfect , everybody sits in the appropriate place carrying the timeline of the day and the welcome envelopes , you feel so responsible , you feel that if you didn’t do your job right you will be responsible for the failure of a whole team , everyone was working with very high spirit and passion .

at the end of the day i have felt the joy of success i have felt that you will never ever feel success unless you work very hard ,

when we were about to make the closing of the day i was surprised by the president of our org. saying we want to thank every single person who worked to make this happen and then the presenter grabbed the microphone and said that ” we would like to congratulate and thank one of the most active members of the year …..” and suddenly i heard my name 🙂 so while i was walking from my place to the stage to have my certificate i was flying over the moon hearing a very warm and strong clapping from everyone in the room specially from my friends at that moment exactly i was about to cry cuz u feel that u have done the right thing , my decision to change and be a better and active person wasn’t wrong , i have chosen the best place to help me be a better person , i am better now because of you my team and because of our spirit together , because of learning how to give without asking back for a favor 

i have learned the joy of giving , the joy of changing , and i have made my decision and i’ll never ever break it : from now on i’ll never be that lazy stupid person again ,i really hope to be what i want to be and to achieve more success in my life

a message for me and for all of you guys don’t ever give up and don’t let your thoughts control you or break you ,  do what you want now its never too late !