I know that upon receiving this letter, your view of the world will change forever.
And I am not talking about the world we all live in and share, I am talking about your world.
The world you created with him. I am talking about him.
See, a year ago we met, we never had the intention of hurting you. But we did.
We never planned to find comfort in each other. We never planned that our worlds would collide if we didn’t have each other. He used to say your name at first, but now he is saying my name!
I know every time he had you in bed, he had me in mind instead.
He was torn inside, I could tell and I am sure you could too. He has two worlds, a world of freedom and the other world is settlement. A world of family and stability, but a world that lacked taste of wild life. And I am wilderness. We embarked on this adventure together without a map.
I know you knew about us, I know because I heard it over your fights with him over the phone when he was between my arms. We would smoke and talk about it. I never talked ill of you. I just want you to know that, even if it doesn’t matter. But I wanted you out of the picture. I wanted him. But he was so scared to leave you and I never asked him to because I knew it. He would lose you, the boys, the prestige and the world he known for 10 years. He is not a risk taker, He would not leave everything behind for me. But he wanted me on the side. His ego and selfishness wouldn’t let me go easily.
I just wanted love, the love that he poured on my body. The extra care, the beauty of the beginnings. But I know this wouldn’t have lasted. You see, the beauty of the beginnings is gone and all what is left is his bare soul, the sore childhood and the bitterness of his tongue. He has left marks on my body, not scratches, he left scars that won’t ever heal. So instead of wanting you out of the picture, I walked out of it. I am no longer waiting for him to be available after dropping you off at your parents house, dropping the boys at school, finishing work and then he’d throw me a bone, some of his time.
I am letting you know, I broke free of his venom, and he is all yours now.
Here is a little piece of advice. I am telling you its a dangerous world out there and you have a hunter, yes a hunter. He hunts for love, lust and affection. Things he missed out on his entire life. Give him plenty of that or he will find it somewhere else.
I know you love the boys and they keep you handful but remember that he should come first sometimes. Let him feel that he is your top priority and that he is desired again. Contain him.
Last but not least, forgive him. He is a human. We all fall preys to our desires sometime. Remember that he chose you. It was you all the way from the beginning.
And if you can, please forgive me! I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to be the other woman. I am a human too and I fell, I made a mistake and now I am trying to make it right.