Posted in 2018, Diary, poetry, thoughts

Perfectionists are not Allowed! #UnfinishedWork

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Somewhere only we know </3

They taught me how to say ” Astaghferu Allah”. They say it helps in the healing process.

So I remembered their words!

“Astaghferu Allah”

I get busy and bury myself in endless tasks at work.

I read your name on my mobile. I get stuck.

Eyes fixed on the screen, mind reliving our moments together.

“Astaghferu Allah”, I say.

“Focus. You have work to do, deadlines to meet. Focus.” – said the distracted mind.

I saw you. I saw you putting your arms around her as you walked down the hall.

It makes sense! She is now closer to you than I used to do. The sight of you two puts extra weight on my heart, but I push a smile anyway.

That is what they taught me. Fake it until you make it. So I try.

A sigh.

“Astaghferu Allah”

I am on my way home, I pass by your house. Your perfume “my favorite” is in the air.

Heart pounding. Heartbeats racing. Tears pouring.

I catch myself crying. Stop! Remember the smile. So I smile.

“Astaghferu Allah”

I walk. Faster steps, unsteady but fast.

I leave with no look backs for today!

I repeat “Astaghferu Allah”. They said it is a pain killer, so I overdosed it.

 

— Astaghferu Allah: is a religious saying in Islam that means Ask for God’s forgiveness, help, and support. A mean of worship that is always thought to be good to start your prayers with. —

 

DISCLAIMER: This is not the final version. It is subjected to edits that should be applied soon.

Would love to hear feedback thou! Thanks xoxo

 

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