Optimistic or Faithful ?!

well lets start with a fact that i couldn’t be counted on team optimism, never been.

always tend to choose the worst/darkest side of anything, didn’t expect too much out of anything to avoid frustration & depression.
it might be am just choosing the safest side ? may be .. i think .. who knows anyway ?

the past few months was too busy, doing too many things graduation project, community service , preparing for my final exams and so on..

i was putting all my time & effort in all these stuff, as am a person who is seeking perfection i couldn’t handle seeing unfinished work, was working too hard to have it all done perfectly,

i do believe in this : “the result of  your equation is known from the given you already have “ , i had all the given; the material, my time, my effort, then according to my theory i should not worry about the result but i should because there is only one factor could turn this upside down its Conciliation, so without it its all done none of this will work,

i needed conciliation badly whether in my exams or in my project and in my interviews for the job vacancies i applied for,

through all of that i was trying to figure out this :” am i an optimistic person ? am i that person & i wasn’t really showing ? or am just too faithful to believe in god & in myself ?” when i was pretty sure of what i did and the effort & time i spent to get that finished i was kinda sure of how the result should be but was waiting for conciliation to show its effect

every time i went to exam, every time i went for an interview, the moment i stood presenting my grad. project i was comfortable with what i did, i have done everything i was asked to do.

i got accepted at one int. and right before i receive the job, some problems popped out bec. of bad timing i was supposed to get hired and have exams at same time so that was impossible, i quit, but was too satisfied, thanking god for what happened although i wanted this job badly but i won’t cry on something wasn’t mine already, who knows may be it wasn’t good for me, may be its just fate, i told myself & was speaking to God :  ” i know you are saving something better for me, you know how hard i want a job as soon as possible, so i know you’ll give me what i deserve now or later, there’s something for me out there and i’m waiting” .

i don’t exactly know is this optimism or faith ? after too many thinking i came out with this: optimism is a result of strong faith, faith will never be there if you are not pretty sure of what you did , – when you work hard for something, when you put all what you have in something, & you do your thing perfectly -, you consequently have faith/ belief in yourself, in your goal , you believe eventually in God who was witnessing all what you did, so you are expecting a result according to the given that you have put in the equation, then you become seeing the bright side of whatever happen & that makes you optimistic by the way.

work hard + believe in yourself + believe in god’s power + conciliation = faith = optimism

see i might be both characters the pessimistic & the optimistic one, it depends

we can’t say this person is pessimistic or optimistic, its a range, we can’t be counted on one of the two poles only, it depends on the situation, the given, the faith, it depends on changeable circumstances.

optimism is not too far from faith both are directly proportional, both relate to each other strongly with what you are willing to do.

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