I am so amazed how we thought that life bonds are unbreakable , we thought as we grow older these bonds are getting stronger , but recently i have realized that we were lied to .. these bonds were so easily broken ….
those life bonds include the family one , yes it’s breakable too ! have just experienced that .
its so depressing how u were talking so proudly about how happy are you with your family and then everything change and now you are avoiding to talk about them .
having fights , problems and arguments continuously for more than a year is a very hard thing and it changes a lot specially when these problems weren’t solved from the first time so every time you have a problem or u r having an argument with someone things got more complicated as they are accumulated over each other every time they are not discussed or solved . and then one moment u feel like there will be an explosion ..
and i think that’s what had happened these days with me and my family , we are having lately about 3 or 4 fights per week and then someone decides to solve the situation with just a simple smile and then you forget everything for a while then something happens again and you feel like u are gonna start all over again .
we have reached a very bad point, it’s been very long time since i have talked to my parents and every time we start a new fight the duration becomes longer and longer .
but this time is so different it feels like someone has broken your heart and left you without even bothering to look back !
i feel so down , sad and shocked because even if we are having a fight they should have asked what i am going to do as i am about to take a very important decision in my life , but nobody cared ! the thing is i am so depressed and so confused , its these times that you need very badly someone you can trust to talk with .. but they are not here standing by me , they left me all alone in this !!! but this time i am having no regrets and having no intention to apologize or to fix things up , no intention to do anything about it . i am tired and it has become so humiliating and no matter what i will be strong and i will let nothing to break me down .
first time to know how does it means to feel sadness in your heart , it hurts to know that things will not be the same ever again after what had happened .
it seems that living in your fantasy world is so much better than facing reality :S